I'm deleting old texts, and I just found these conversations:

• Tara: What are the strip club hours?
• Me: Open til 2 I think?
• ----
• Me: Obnoxiously stupid idea that just popped into my head: parody of California Girls... "california rolls."
• Tara: I hope that happens.
• ---
• Me: Under the sink. And our toaster apparently only has one setting: Holocaust.
• ---
• Me: Things have gone whore-ably wrong.
• ---
• Me: No longer at production, going to our apt for drinking and sharktopus.
• ---
• *texting during class*
• Tara: Sooo Tom Hardy is in the new Batman~
• Tara: He's Bane.
• Me: Oh balls is he gonna be wearing a mask through like the whole movie? Because that'll be a tragedy.
• Tara: His penis will also probably not be in it.
• Tara: That's what she said.
• Me: Coincidentally enough we're currently discussing the frequency of penises in films.